Monday, September 30, 2013

I Just Love Ya All

Hey it's me, Sista P.  

Things are going alright here in Langley! last week was just so-so.  We had a lot of miracles and blessings come our way, but there is always room for improvement on my part!  We had a Mini Missionary stay with us this weekend! She is 17 and lives about half hour away in a town called Delta.  She is the cousin of my last Mini Missionary so it was really fun! On Saturday we went to the Stake building in Abbotsford and watched the General Relief Society Broadcast and dang it was good.  I love, love, love meetings.  I don't know if I just never paid attention before or if I just didn't know what they were ever talking about in the past, but as I sat and listened, I noticed how often they referenced the Book of Mormon.  I love that book with all my heart.  It is my favorite book in the world! I learn something every time I read it! It is taking me so long to get through, because I can get so much just out of one single verse. This is good and bad if ya know what I'm saying! Lately I've been color coding this Book of Mormon based on topics and it takes me forever.  It's worth it though.

So there is this guy sitting right by me talking really loud on his phone and I can't concentrate at all.  Honestly I'm not in a good mood right now.  I'm really frustrated and annoyed with some different things..  I don't think I should say that kind of stuff to you because it's negative, but I am.  I'm bugged that I feel this way the one time I get to email you guys.  I don't want to just sit here and complain so I guess I'll change subjects.  

Tonight we get transfer calls and I really don't know what is going to happen.  I don't want to jinx it, but I am kind of leaning more to the leaving side... I've been here for a really long time.  I am totally ok with staying longer because I love this area, but I feel like something is going to change. whether it be my companion or my area or what.  I'm not sure.  One thing I do know though, is that I know this area like the back of my hand.  I know where every single ward member lives and I know where I can park and I know what streets I can take that gets me to places the fastest and I know where the dead ends are and I know everyone's names and I know where all our potential&former investigators live.  I can get to a place without even looking at a map.  Just give me the address and I'm there.  If we are in area and don't know what to do, well I know exactly who lives around there that we can drop by.  I know exactly where I've tracted and I even know and can remember who was nice at doors and who was not.  I remember peoples faces and I remember little details about themselves.  I know almost all of the members work schedules and who is available when.  I know our members so well. like even if they don't really know me which is creepy.  I know about their families and I know about their struggles.  I know their pets names and can recite their answering machines to a Tee.  I pray and think about these people constantly.  So yeah, I feel like I have a predisposition about my area lots and so I'm constantly striving for new insights and revelation on how to strengthen it and help it grow.  So in some ways I think it is my time to leave and I could even see them white washing this area (taking us both out and putting two new sisters in) Yes, I do know this area and these people very well, but There is absolutely no way this would even be considerably possible without the Lord.  There is no way on earth that I would be able to remember everything if it were not for Him.  He helps me soooooo much.  The Spirit is constantly bringing things to my remembrance and constantly reminding me of the small and simple things that I overlook.  As to my own strength, I am SO embarrassingly weak.  I don't know what I would do without the Lord.  He has helped me through so much.  I would be lost without him.  I have so much I can work on though and I'm not saying that I don't forget stuff because I do! TRUST ME! but more often than not, the Lord in his merciful way, helps me remember to do things.  I love him for that and so much more.  I just love my Savior and I have such a strong testimony of him and everything that he has done for me in my life.  I feel so humbled to be his daughter.  I feel so blessed to be numbered among his sheep.  I feel so honored that I am in the position to share the gospel and I feel so incredibly blessed for my knowledge of his plan.  I don't know what I ever did to deserve so much grace from Him, but I am truly in awe of the Atonement.  It has played such a huge role in my life and I know that serving a mission has helped me understand it so much more.  Honestly, serving a mission has forever changed my life.  I get it now ya know? I see the big picture.  I understand my purpose.  Can I just say that I love you all so much.  I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. If you only knew how I was feeling right now.. you would then understand how great my love for you really is.  Thank you for everything.  I have the most incredible family in the world.  Words can not express how much happiness you have brought into my life.  I miss you a lot and when I'm struggling, like right now, I want nothing more than to call you and talk. Just vent. Just let it out. But I can't. I know that. And that is ok.  That is when I can access and rely On the Atonement and Our Savior Jesus Christ.  At the end of the day He is my rock.  I can't wait until I get to hug Him and tell Him how much I love Him and thank Him for giving me Mollie and Oskar and Mom and Dad and Trevor and Spencer and Abbie and Jeremy and Ellie and Tara and Jessica and the First Ward and just everyone.  I was placed in the most amazing family ever.  I feel your love and support so strong and I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart.  Thank you.  There are days when I'm really tired and days when I don't know how much more I can handle, but then I think of you.  I think about how much each of you are cheering me on.  I don't want to let you down.  I don't want to be a disappointment to you or the Lord.  When I think of all your love, I can't help but think how much greater the Savior's love is for me and it pierces me to the very core.  I scarce can take it in.  I don't deserve it.  I mean I am so imperfect ya know? and yet He just loves me and my flaws and my imperfections.  One of the hardest things I've had to overcome and still have to overcome and think about sometimes is not feeling guilty for my weaknesses and doing this self pity dance.  I know that discouragement is selfish and I've seen it completely control some people out here.  So whenever the 'poor me' thought creeps in, I stop it and think of how I can do better next time and improve.  I just am so humbled to be a member of this church.  I love it with everything I have.  I love being a missionary. I love Jesus Christ.  I love so many things that I could really sit here forever, but I won't do that to you.  Just know that I love you.  I have a testimony of this Gospel.  I know that it is true.  Ellie, I too would give everything up for the Plan of Salvation. I know that my family will be together forever.  I know that God knows me and he knows the desires of my heart.  So I will go where ever he wants me to go and I will be whatever he wants me to be.  I owe him EVERYTHING! well my time is up.  I love you.  Please know that I pray for you everyday.

Be strong and of Good Courage.  keep it small and Simple. Long live. keep calm and carry on. truth will Prevail. please just Work iT!! 1-10-15. five amazing stars.


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