Monday, June 24, 2013

The Church is so True it Hurts!!!

Hi FAMILY! :]  So, I hope you are all doing amazing!  I am not sure if you were able to watch the Worldwide Broadcast yesterday, but it was absolutely incredible. If you didn't get a chance, then please look it up because it applies to everyone! EVERY MEMBER IS A MISSIONARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!  You will not be sorry.  It is two hours long. So basically, I cried for two hours straight and then some!  Like for real though...I get very emotional when I see others doing kind acts of service.  They showed this video clip of a family who did kind acts of service and I just bawled.  It was so Christ-like.  I also get very emotional when I hear about others conversion stories.  It's just so brilliant and awesome.  The church is TRUE my friends.  When I saw all the thousands of missionaries sitting there, it was one of those WOW moments that you will just never forget, and to think that I am a part of that is just overwhelming.  That is just a glimpse of our numbers.  First off, I just want to say how grateful I am to be a missionary.  I love being apart of this Army of God.  I don't think I realized before my mission what I had actually enlisted in. Like, I literally am in an Army for God.  How many people are able to say that?  Missions are not like what I ever thought, they are so much MORE.  Every worthy capable person needs to serve a mission and should.  Jesus Christ died for us and THE VERY LEAST we can do is share is gospel with others and, to not fall away!  The focus in the church is definitely on missionary work right now.  There is no doubt about it, this is a historic time and the angels are keeping records of it. This day and age will never be forgotten.  It is a scary thought at times, because it is just all so real.  I mean Satan is working just as hard to stop us from spreading the good word.  I don't know why it took me so long to realize that we all need to share the gospel.  The worst someone can say is no.  If you do it out of love and with a willing heart, then others will not be offended.  I wish I knew sooner how great the knowledge was that I have.  I am envious of the young teens who are preparing now, because it is so clear what their duty is.  I feel bad for them too, because that is who the devil is working extra hard on right now.  All I can think of are my younger siblings and the youth in the N.O. First Ward.  Everyone has a choice to serve a mission, but I think God would be so pleased if that choice was to serve Him. It's crazy to think that there were only a small amount of spirits in the big scheme of things who got to come to this world instead of other worlds.  Then you think of all the millions of people who have come and gone who don't even know about His church, and then you think of all the people who do and have rejected it, and then you think about all the members we have, and then as it continues to get smaller, you think of all the members who have fallen away, and then you think of all the members who really aren't worthy, and then you think about the small amount of righteous individuals that can have the opportunity to serve a mission for our Savior Jesus Christ out of the amount that are still active members. WE ARE SO BLESSED!  We must have done something right to be able to have the freaking knowledge that we have about His plan.  IT IS OUR DUTY TO SHARE THE GOSPEL WITH EVERYONE.  Even if ya don't have a dang name tag, you can and should spread the gospel.   For me, I didn't know till after I went on my mission.  I feel like it is my duty to spread and preach the gospel with all those I come in contact with.  It is so important and it is so true and I am forever changed because of it.  Yesterday when we were able to watch the worldwide broadcast...WOW.  That was so motivating and encouraging and inspiring and real and beautiful and true and needed.  There is no greater work than this.  

This morning I finished truly reading the Book of Mormon completely for the first time in my whole entire life and that book is so true it hurts!  I believe and know that it is the word of God and that it really did happen! Being a missionary at this time in history is such an incredible experience and I love being here in Canada.  Sometimes, I feel really weak, like really really, really weak. Like I am the weakest missionary in the world!, Like someone else could come and do this much better than I ever could. Missions are hard.  They make ya stretch in ways you didn't know possible.  All your flaws are enhanced and high-lighted.  Like I don't know a whole lot when it comes to the gospel doctrine and I'm never sure if my best is good enough or if I really did do my best that day, so I get overwhelmed, discouraged, and stressed out.  My insecurities definitely come out and they get the best of me. So, I am not perfect by any means.  Neither is any other missionary or young person in the world but guess what? We aren't asked to be perfect and we aren't asked to do it all by ourselves.  I am trying to focus on what I do know.  What I do KNOW is that the Church of Jesus Christ has been restored back onto the earth through the Prophet Joseph Smith. I KNOW that the Book of Mormon is TRUE, and I KNOW that Thomas S. Monson is a TRUE prophet.  I KNOW that families can be together FOREVER in eternity with our LOVING Heavenly Father and his Son Jesus Christ, and I KNOW that Jesus Christ is the Redeemer of the world.  I KNOW that he died for my sins and that he IS the Savior.  I KNOW that it is only through the Atonement that I can be forgiven of ALL my sins.  I KNOW that the the Lord LOVES me.  I KNOW that he is cheering me on everyday and that he wants me to be HAPPY.  I KNOW that he LISTENS to ALL of my prayers and I KNOW that he answers them.  I KNOW that I am NEVER alone.  I KNOW that he qualified me to be a missionary because trust me, I was not ready.  I KNOW that with God, ALL THINGS are possible.  I KNOW that God is in the very details of our lives.  I KNOW that we must have FAITH in the Lord and FAITH in His timing. There are so many good things I know and I could go on and on, but lastly, I KNOW that I am a daughter of God.  The veil is very thin and we are so close to the spirit world.  Angels are amongst us everyday and they are anxiously watching our every move because they can see the big picture just like our Savior and Heavenly Father.  Doubt not. Fear not.  I believe that as we put our trust in the Lord with all our heart, might, mind and strength, than he will NOT let us fail!  He just loves us too darn much to say pysch! joke's on you! and ya know.. even if none of it were true and even if we ended up all being wrong, well I wouldn't change a thing.  We are better because of it.  The Church is true. The ACTUAL Church of Jesus the Christ is back on the earth.  How could we not sound the war cry and tell everyone? THAT IS COOL!  It is our duty and obligation to share the knowledge we have because if we don't then no one else will and I bet it is easier to repent and get the work done on this side while we have bodies, than it is on the other side.  All they can do is accept it, repent and then wait for us to do their work.  That's so sad in a way. Kinda a lot of pressure so it's a good thing the Lord is on our side.

Alright, well I have to go.  OH... I could go on and on about all the "obedient rules" you would be shocked and mortified haha.  I've come to the conclusion that I am really good at being obedient and that is why I was called here.  I mean some people were called here cuz that is something they need to work on, but not me.  I like being obedient and I just need to be more positive about it because it is a protection. God knows it's one of my strengths so he lettin' me exercise that strength! I was better in the beginning, but Satan got the best of me and made me think it was holding me back.  I'm just trying to enjoy being obedient.  In this last week, my comp has lashed out a couple of times and unnecessarily corrected me and then I just smile and think... regrets! I've had a few! but then again.. TO FEW TO MENTION! I did what I had to do! la la......much more than this... I DID IT MMMMMMMYYYYYYYY WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

haha alright love you all.  The Church is True! Did I mention that? 1-10-15.  by small and simple things are great things brought to pass! WORK IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars. be strong and of good courage.

Monday, June 17, 2013

HaPpy FaTHer's dAy!!!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
sorry it is a day late. Since I couldn't call you,  I just want you to know that you are the greatest man I've ever known.  Not only that, but you are the greatest person I've ever known.  You are my hero Dad.  I love you so much and I feel so blessed to be your daughter.  Last night when I was talking with God, I was just crying when we were chatting about you.  We both agreed that you are something special.  Anyone who knows you, knows that you are such a hard working, fun loving, enthusiastic person and they can't help but feel good around you.  I can always count on you and talk to you about anything.  You are always there for me.  You are always cheering me on and building me up.  You always love me, even when I make mistakes.  You always take care of me.  You always remind me how great I am.  You never forget about me.  There aren't enough words that could describe you Dad.  You are just..just everything. I talk about you all the time. ha. seriously though, I read your talks out loud to Sister Byam whether she really likes it or not, and just yesterday while we were tracting, she randomly goes, "I just love your Dad" ha. nerd.  She always says things like, "Your family has so much character!" "I love hearing stories about your family!" ha  
Anyway, I love you Dad.  You are going to be an Apostle one day. CALLED IT!

Ok So, I am probably going to need braces when I get back because my teeth are moving up a storm! such a joke. Also, I kinda sorta need a scripture bag. I know I said I didn't on the phone and I feel really bad asking, but um ya... i need one.  Late Birthday Present? what missionary goes on their mission and doesn't bring a scripture bag?! ha. wow. 
ok So I don't know if I explained, but I was in the Abbotsford Zone and then at transfers they made new zones cuz of all the areas opening up so now we are in the Langley zone.  Sister Cho is still my district leader, but she went from Abbotsford to Burnaby which is basically Vancouver.  So we were with everyone in the East and now we are with the lower mainland to the west of us.  Anyway, Last week we went on Exchanges and Sister Cho came here to Brookswood.  

How my hair looks 10 mins outside....It's always RAINING!
Funny story. So we were driving around in the pouring rain and we got out to do some drop by's and when we got back in the car Sister Cho could smell gas really strong coming from the car.  Like extremely strong.  I could smell it too, so we called Elder Jones who is incharge of Cars in our mission and he made us pop the hood and do all this stuff.  Mind you it is pouring rain.  So we couldn't figure out the smell and so Elder Jones wanted us to take our car in the next day, well while we were trying to figure it all out, I realized that the smell wasn't coming from the car! OH NO! it was coming from my rain jacket! yep. I'm not even kidding you, it STUNK! so I was like having this moral dilemma.  Like do I tell Sister Cho I'm the one that stinks? hahahah ahhh ok cuz this jacket is super old from another missionary right? and it has always smelled.  infact I say that is smells every time I put in on and Sister Byam just laughs about it!  It smells worse when it is wet. SOOOOO I was in this pickle. ha so than Elder Jones got us all this info for this car dealership and I was just over here a panicing away! ha so than we got into the apartment and I immediately change jackets. um yeah we could smell anything coming from the car the rest of the night! so I just told myself I'll figure out what to do later. haha so than after we exchanged back I told Sister Byam all about it and she was CRACKING UP! I guess you had to be there! We called Elder Jones and we were like, "Oh hey.. the car actually is fine now! no more smell!" haha we told him a little about the jacket too.  Moral of the story is that Jaynanne needs a rain jacket.  I am not wearing that stinky one anymore! ha so I mean I could try to find one here, but I don't really have money. so yeah.  I'll look around for one. that is my story.  
 I'm going to start driving today! I haven't driven
in almost four months! ahh. wish me luck.  
Kay so we showed Karen pictures of our families and When she was looking at the picture of me and Mollie, she was just like, "oh my heck she is gorgeous! does she know how gorgeous she is? like Seriously. does she? does she?" haha and than she just like stared at me for a long time and was like "really does she?" hahaha I was just like, Ya, I know! I hope so Karen! :) ahaha SO MOLLIE YOU ARE GORGEOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
Ok, so last thing I was going to talk about was the whole obedience thing.  Yeah obedience is super strict here.  Like with everything.  EVERYTHING.  I'm not joking.  It's almost so obedient that it makes it miserable, sorta.  Like my mission sounds a lot different from Trevor's, dad's, and all my friends.  If we have "fun" then we are driving the spirit away.  We are not allowed to sing or even think about "apostate" or "Babylon" music.  So, basically anything that is not a hymn.  DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD THAT IS FOR ME?!?!?!?!?!!!?? like so, so, so, hard.  I never realized that I live my life through song lyrics.  Literally everything reminds me of a song.  All our family does is listen to music! Dad you talk about it in all your talks! not gonna lie, I sing when I shower and vacuum. Today it was the Righteous Brothers, "You've lost that lovin' feeling" and than I pretended I was in a parade and sang "Twist and Shout" so, yeah.  Everyone says that if it is in the White Handbook and Preach My Gospel, then it can ALL be achieved. Um, yeah I feel like I am only giving ten percent in fifty thousand different areas instead of giving it my all in five areas if that makes sense.  Being this obedient makes ya get real discouraged cuz, for sisters especially, if they are not good in one little area, then the whole world falls apart and you just hate on yourself cuz you aren't perfect. Also, you are always being watched. So if you do something wrong, you are immediately judged and corrected.  The worst is when your comps try to correct you in their prayers.  Sister Byam doesn't do that, but previous companions of mine always try to tell ya how to be while they are praying.  Oh, and we pray ALL the time.  It sometimes makes it not so meaningful.  ummm... talking about things besides missionary work or spiritual stuff is really looked down upon.  ummm we can't take pictures while proselyting and that is basically all the time so I literally have no pictures. Saddest thing of my life.  We do exactly 20 min of cardio, and exactly 10 min of stretching, cuz that is what the health guide says. Seriously, we put on a timer.  We pray when we get in and out of the car, and about 7 times in between.  We are constantly repenting in all our prayers and it makes ya feel like after all that repenting, then there isn't much left to be confident in. ummmm, so many things....  It's really hard. Like it makes ya more home sick I think.  Like I can't be myself, so I'm just like dying sometimes. But, I do it all because I love the Lord.  I fear him ya know? so I just want to do what is right and never mess up.  I almost feel though, that we are so focused on being obedient and staying on purpose that we don't really focus on being missionaries... like being obedient yields our full potential.  ahh I can't explain it and I gotta go.  Sorry none of that made sense at all.  Just know that the few times I say Work iT out loud, it gets kinda awkward in the air and all quiet-like, and I feel the silent judgement! haha whatever. anywho, I love you all! 
sorry for my rant! 
I gotta go soak the nation now with baptisms! WORK IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE YOU! 1-10-15. By small and simple things are great things brought to pass. 5 stars. BE STRONG AND OF GOOD COURAGE! just sayin.. ;)

Monday, June 10, 2013

And... another one's gone...

Well HELLO family.  So I realize that you all wanted to know what you could get me for my birthday last week and never ask for anything! ha who doesn't ask for stuff on their birthday?  Missionaries I guess.. Well anywho.. I don't really need anything from ya. I'm really fine.  I got some things at Target last week! :) and I printed off Dad's talks which were incredible by the way! So that is really all the presents I need.  If you want to pay for the stuff I got, than that would be very nice.  I did have to pay with my own money and I cringed a little! ha So if you want to put like $40.00 in my account I would let ya! :) I got a water cup, two notebooks, binder, stickers, page protectors, and I printed all those pages off.  Other than that, I can't really think of anything.. Well there is this one present that would be cool.. Ya'll would have to get creative and Mollie would have to take charge.  Basically, I want a quote book.  Not just any quote book, oh no! It has to be the ULTIMATE quote book! I want you all to send me a book full of QUOTES! they can be inside jokes, quotes from movies, tv shows, SONGS, funny lines, Pinterest, Josie, I don't really care where ya get them! just get them and WRITE THEM DOWN! make it inspiring! use your imagination! put your hearts into it and make the book cute. haha yeah.. that is all. Please and Thank You! :] oh and send packages to the Mission Office in Richmond. 
So Question, When is my bro Spencer getting his endowments out?! just curious.  

So last week we had four people drop us.  It was hard.  I mean right when we started building up our little teaching pool, it dried all up and we're thirsty again.  It's frustrating, but I am just staying positive because I know this is a trial of my faith. When these disappointments come, it's extremely easy to blame yourself.. like what if it was cuz I didn't have enough faith?  or should I have said this? or should I have not said that? or was I obedient enough? did this happen cuz I secretly sang Taylor Swift? or cuz my eyes were open during the prayer? etc. Well Sister Tilleman called me last week to wish me Happy Birthday and something she said that I really liked was that 'being positive shows you are exercising your faith.'  So even if we think we don't have faith, if we are positive and cheerful, it helps build our faith and it shows that we are trying.  Dad's talk on Covenants helped me remember that Satan doesn't have power over us if we aren't perfect at keeping our commitments and promises.  God hasn't forsaken us.  We all make mistakes in life.  These mistakes can create feelings of guilt and shame.  But because of the atonement, we can be forgiven for ALL our short comings.  I just want to have faith like the Brother of Jared.  Talk about incredible.  I just read his story in Ether.  Holy AMAZING! How come I've never heard all these stories? ha maybe Tara and I should have gone to Sunday School all those times.....Nah! :P One thing for sure though is that the Book of Mormon is true.  Every time I read from it, I know I'm reading about real people and real events.  It is the best book I've ever read!  The stories in there are so inspiring and so deep.  I have such a love for it.  I wish I could just read it all day! That would be heaven.

Well, sorry my email is a little late today.  We came to the library earlier, but it was all full and we have to sit by each other so we can see one another's screens, so we went and did our food shopping instead and while we were at WalMart, the lights went out and everyone was in such a panic! I was like calm down people. One of my 80's songs was playing over the intercom and we were in a lane that was still working so life was good.   
Peter Owens said it best, Ya just gotta enjoy the moments.  
It's hard to do when you are discouraged, but it's what helps build ya up and it keeps things simple.  BTW the ice cream here is pretty good.  NOT as good as Utah's, but what can ya do? Well I have to go! I love you all so much and I'm so grateful for you all! you are the best thing that has ever been mine.  The church is true brothers and sisters! It really is.. remember to WORK iT!!! by small and simple things are great things brought to pass.  1-10-15. Be Strong and of Good Courage.  I LOVE YOU ALL!  5 stars.

Monday, June 3, 2013


Hey guess what? I AM TWENTY! whaaa??? 
Where in the heck did the time fly? Great Scott! 
I just can't believe it. That's Heavy.  haha 
TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhh. 

SO WEIRD! I don't think I can handle this.  Can you believe that I have been alive for twenty years?? I don't even feel like I've accomplished as much as I should of.  Dad I read the top of your letter about growing up.. made me emotional too.  I will always be your little girl:) I still remember last year on my birthday.. at midnight Mollie and I danced and screamed and spun around! haha I don't have any exciting plans for the day except I'm gonna go to the new Target that just opened up here in Langley.  Yeah that's right. I know how to party. Living on the edge.  ha So we have a FHE lesson with a family tonight and the mom 
 knows I love ice cream and since it's my birthday, she's making us have ice cream Sundae's! :) So that'll be good.  Other than that, I'm not really doing much.. it doesn't really feel like my birthday ya know? just another day of the mission. if ya think about it.. birthdays are kinda a big deal.  Like we are celebrating the fact that we were able to come to this earth and gain physical bodies! that is pretty neat. Just Sayin.

SOOOOOOOOO..... I AM SO JEALOUS OF THE TAYLOR SWIFT CONCERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhh.  It sounds incredible.  I loved the pictures!  I just love Taylor Swift so much.  She is such an amazing role model.  Being on my mission re-confirms that to me even more.  People who can't stand her, well they just don't have a heart!  It's really hard not to sing her songs.  The music we sing and listen to is very, very strict.  I feel guilty if I even think of her music and do you know how hard that is for me?!? EXTREMELY HARD! let me tell you what! seriously though.  Even saying I like her or whatever isn't really me being "on purpose" out here cuz it's not church/mission related.  It's just one of those things I have to take in stride. Anywho!

TRANSFERS! Well I am still in Brookswood with Sister Byam and I am so so so glad it turned out this way.  It just makes it so much easier because we both know the area, we both know the people, and we both know each other! We still had to go to Transfers/Training because we brought Sister Duffy in.  It was so, so, so, so, great to see all my MTC SISTA'S! I never see or hear about Sis Kindlespire cuz she is clear up in Prince George so it was great to see her.  Seeing Sister Willmore of course was just about the best thing ever! I love her like a crazy! She was still going off about how skinny she thought I looked at 6 weeks.  I was like you're crazy! ha and she was like, "seriously you dropped so much weight! I was like WOW." hahahahahah NOT TRUE! if it is, than I gained it all back from eating my scooby doo fruit snacks and granola bars! SUCH A JOKE! with the new finding time between 5-7 though, we don't really eat these days anyways! And considering the fact that I can't really cook.. it all worked out! ha.  don't worry though, I eat.  ya have to. it's kinda part of that whole obedience thing.  such a drag. haha ;) So Anyway, Sister Kennedy got to stay the night with us on Thursday so that was so so fun! I love her! :) Ahh.  I just love missionaries.  Yesterday, Sister Byam and I taught the Relief Society lesson. ahh.  It was on Standing Strong and Immovable.  SUCH A GOOD TOPIC! we used the talk given by Julie B Beck about it.  We also used this story from President Monson in his talk, Dare to Stand Alone.  It was such a good story about how when he was in the navy and he thought he stood alone for being a Mormon.. you'll just have to read it.  Actually there is a Mormon message made about it.  MY goodness I LOVE THOSE! like seriously, I am going to watch those all the time when I get home. They are tearjerkers.

So whenever we talk to people, a lot of times they think we are nuns or JW's.  I'M LIKE UM NO! I am a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  come on people. get with it.  oh so yesterday I straightened my hair and everyone at church was commenting on it cuz it wasn't curled! ha it was funny.. anywho.

I love you all so much.  Thank you for loving me back.  I hope you can all feel my love.  I have the best support system.  I can't believe I am 20.  Thank you for making these past 20 years meaningful.  I cherish every moment I've spent with you all.  I am just so blessed.  Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.  You are all the best thing that's ever been mine.  I hope you don't forget about me while I'm up here in Canada.  I want you to know that the Savior's church really has been restored back onto the earth and I would give up my life to testify of that.  I owe Jesus Christ everything.  He put me in the most incredible family and I am eternally thankful.

I LOVE YOU ALL! WORK IT!!!!!!! 1-10-15. By small and simple things are great things brought to pass. Be Strong and of Good Courage. 5 stars.  remember I love ya. and I really miss you all.