Monday, May 13, 2013

Oh What a Beautiful Morning...

HI! IT WAS SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO good to talk to you all yesterday! 
Words can not describe how good it was to hear your voices.  There was so much I wanted to say that I forgot about and I'm sorry we didn't have a lot of time! I love all of you.  I hope you know that. I hope you know that you are all my rock.   
I have THE BEST family in the world.   
Seriously.  I've met a lot of families out here and I've heard about all my comps families and none of them can even compare with what I've got.  Like my comps didn't even want to talk to their families and they all have struggles and what not.  And than there is me over here going YAYAYAYAY!!! haha Like Mom and Dad, you raised us right.  You raised us with love and you taught us that if we work hard than we can achieve great things.  Thank you for raising us in the gospel.  I'd be lost without it.  So I couldn't sleep a wink last night! I seriously just kept replaying our conversation in my head.  Sorry I cried and was so emotional.  There was a lot I wanted to tell you, but I really couldn't because my companions were sitting right there ya know?! They would judge. ha. So basically Since they are both so much older than me, we can't really relate.  They don't really get what my needs are.  Like they both have lived away from home for a long time before there mission and they obviously don't have as cool a family as mine back home so they don't get why I struggle sometimes.  Like they want me to open up to them and than when I do, it is not very effective at all.

Sister Duffy is at the very end of her mission.  She goes home June 5th.  I am at the very beginning.  I come home in over a year.  SO YEAH. there is a huge difference.  Also, the older Sisters out here look at everything a lot different than us youngin's.  I can't explain it.  I just like my age group a lot better.  You can tell a difference. Like we wanted to be here.  They did too, but it was like a fall back.. I'm not really making sense. So yeah that has been weird in each companionship except for my mtc one. They are all smart though and know their stuff.  Girls lose themselves out here.  Like they all get depressed and go insane.  then it makes ya question yourself.  Sometimes I wish I was just an Elder.  Or partnered with an Elder. ha I guess that is what marriage is for right?? ha well what I mean is girls are always like offended.  I've grown up a lot out here and I am just like drama free. My comps are confused by that. They don't get it when I don't think something is negative or bad. Like we have to do this comp inventory thing each week and tell the other person what they need to work on and it is so awkward.  Like I'm not a judgmental person.  I'm pretty accepting so I never have harsh criticism, but others can really grind your spirits.  Like if I'm just sitting there pondering or thinking or if it is silent, you start to get asked all these deep soul searching questions like, What's going on? are you alright? do we need to pull over and talk? I'm over here like um I was just fine until you asked me twenty times in a row.  ahaha it's like they want you to be sad.  I don't know. girls always think there is some flaw or we aren't doing something right. like if we don't meet all our goals that day, they just tear themselves down.  Ever since I accepted that I'm not perfect, I'm just like People! our best is good enough! we tried our hardest and we just have to keep our spirits up and focus on the good.  HAVE FAITH! just keep pushing forward.  Just because we don't see the fruits of labors doesn't mean that we don't have the spirit or we don't have the drive or desire or passion for it! see that is the difference I guess.  The sisters who were out before I got here, look at the glass half empty. It's hard to always to be bubbly and happy when your working with that kind of attitude.  I say focus on 90% good 10% improvement. what a joke though.  My biggest thing is this: I can't compare them to my BF Tara because we'll just never click like that. So, I love them for them and I focus on their strengths and I try to look at them through Gods eyes.  So yeah.. I don't think all the younger sisters are going to have problems with depression and stuff.  they are more innocent and faithful.. ahh it's really hard to explain.

Anyway... Is the marathon on Saturday?!?!?! if so, GOOD LUCK DAD! YOU CAN DO IT! WORK IT LIKE IT HAS NEVER BEEN WORKED BEFORE! JESUS CHRIST IS THE WIND AT YOUR BACK! YOU GOT THIS! I BELIEVE IN YOU! tell Brian Carter that I believe in him too. just Work iT.  
That's awesome about Stef Getting married!! Congrats on your part mom.  what temple is Stef and John & Sami going to be married in?  So guess what.. I curl my hair like everyday! what? i know.  And I hardly ever wear make up. Strange.  ARE YOU SO EXCITED FOR THE TAYLOR SWIFT CONCERT!!?!?!? ahhh. she is amazing.

So tell My Josie that I Love her.  Tell her that she is my best friend forever and I miss her with all my heart. She is my favorite little girl and no one can compare.

Also! WhY do I never hear from Mollie?! like I swear.  Mollie we are best friends and I never hear from you.  WHAT?!?! like tell me some stories child.  hearing your voice was just about the greatest thing ever.  I miss you so much.  I miss you more than you'll ever know.  I can't even think about you with out getting emotional. I heard you were scared the other day when you were home alone.. I'm so sorry I wasn't there to give you a big hug.  I also heard that you bore a strong Testimony and that you gave an amazing talk. That's my girl.  You just pretend I'm giving you a hug ok.  Picture my arms wrapped around you telling you how much I love you! I hope the sun is shining and it's a beautiful day.  I hope you know that it's ok to be happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time.  It's beautiful and magical. OH YEAH! (this is the story of my life) I don't know about you, but i'm feeling pretty blue... I miss you. Never forget that you're beautiful, every little piece love. Don't cha know? YOU'RE REALLY GONNA BE SOMEONE! ask anyone... Stay beautiful. I love ya! you're a peach! 

ALRightY then. I gotta go print off all your emails.  I love you all.  The church is true.  it feels likes the perfect night for me to go find someone to teach and baptize. Pray for Karen.  It's gonna be a good week. Can ya feel it?! that's the SPIRIT!! :] I just love this gospel. I love missionary work.  Our family is the best.  Sorry this letter wasn't very churchy.. haha i have no stories to tell because I told you all about our Investigator over the phone! kay! I have to go! Talk to you next week! Long live.  by small and simple know the rest haha. 1-10-15 BE STRONG! love me. Sister JAYNANNE petersen! :] 5 stars.

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