Monday, April 15, 2013

HOW GREAT THOU ART!

HEY Hi HELLO!

So this week has been pretty fun! We have just been driving back and forth between areas so it has been kind of crazy! Our Apt in Brookswood is on a busy street where as the apt in Maple Ridge is in a basement, in a residential neighborhood area. So in the mornings, if we are in Maple Ridge, we go outside and run! It's the best, I love it! I always think of Dad running and I wear his running shirt! in Brookswood there are no mountains.  In Maple Ridge we are closer to the mountains!

Trevor wanted all these details about the area and stuff and appts and lessons and the people and I'm sorry, but things have been really hard and it's not my fault. I'm sorry I have no cool stories and I don't give details.  Things will get better I promise. I'm really sorry though. I don't mean to let you down.  I'm trying my best.  When we have lessons and appts and all that, I'll let you know. I'm working on it. The reason I haven't had time to email is because so much had been going on with my last companion that I had to spend all the time emailing my president. I mean, she went home. That doesn't just happen. So I'm really sorry. It makes me sick to think that I don't get as much time to contact you guys. There were some major things I had to take care of that could not be ignored.

Maple Ridge is booming though. We had a lesson with an investigator at the temple in the waiting room and it was so so good. The spirit was so strong. We talked about families and temples, duh, and the holy ghost and scriptures and prayer and the importance of church attendance and it was really really really good!!  That is the first lesson I've really had with an investigator and I did a good job.  I talked a lot, but it was all led by the spirit. Afterwards my companions were like SISTER PETERSEN YOU DID SO GOOD! YOU WERE JUST PULLING THINGS OUT LEFT AND RIGHT AND RELATING THEM SOOO WELL! I was like psh. no big deal. haha just kidding. I don't notice till after if I have done a good job or not! I'm real critical of my teaching and knowledge though! We said a kneeling prayer in the temple and I asked the investigator to offer it.. dynamite. So, we had an appt with her actually before this and I talked about families and I talked about that one time when we all whistled and how we need to just enjoy the moments and than I related it to temples and it was great! boom baby. I love my family. enough said.

So, there is the cutest girl named Sierra in my ward who is thirteen and a couple weeks ago we had dinner and all I talked about was Oskar! ha so they are getting married. Thought you should know.  Yesterday at church she added him on facebook. ha it was great.  Then, I had dinner with some investigators in Maple Ridge last week and the whole time I just talked about Mollie to the fifteen year old boy! ha it was so funny. SOooo they are getting married as well. Then Yesterday we had dinner at a members home who has a seventeen year old daughter! as you can imagine Spencer's name was brought up a couple of times! no big deal. They'll probably just date but not get married! Then there is My comp Sister Saal! I always tell her that I want her to be my sister in law sooo.... Trevor.. she is a great catch!! ;) ;) ;) ;)

As for me, I am doing alright! You know, I'm just hanging in there and trying to take things one step at a time. I really am trying not to think about the future because it just overwhelms me. I did want to talk to you about something though and I don't know how to explain it.. Basically, these last two or three weeks,  I feel so much love and gratitude and thankfulness for the gospel and what Jesus Christ did for me that I can't even function! I have a lump in my throat all the time. ALL THE TIME! Like I feel sooooo blessed that I just walk around feeling like this emotional wreck. I feel like those people in the scriptures who when they repent or something, they become paralyzed and can't move for three days because they are so overcome with the spirit! That's how I feel! I feel like I can't work because I'm so overwhelmed by the glory and amazement of it all! Then I start to feel really guilty. I hate that Jesus Christ had to go through all my pains and sufferings. I hate it. I feel so bad. I sometimes just hate myself for it. I wish he didn't have to. It makes me sick when I think about it. I just don't understand. Why me ya know.. like why out of all the spirits in the universe did I get to come to this world? The same world that our Savior came to and the same world that will be the celestial kingdom. What did I do to deserve this? I don't feel all that special. I feel like I'm not perfect enough to be here. I know that nobody is perfect, but it's like I make so many mistakes and I just don't want to take this life I have for granted. So, I am really struggling with my self worth I guess. I wish Jesus didn't have to suffer. It breaks my heart. how can I feel happy that he did that for me? I just want to make sure that I am showing my love enough and that I am doing everything right. So when I am not perfect at something, I get frustrated. So how do I deal with the power of it all? ahh. just what should I do? I can't just brush my feelings aside because that's like denying everything you know? I can't explain it. You know the Hymn, How Great Thou Art? wow. What a tear jerker.  That one line.. "I scarce can take it in" That describes me perfectly! That's how I feel! We sang this song and I was just like, dang.   

So tonight we are getting transfer calls and than transfers are Thursday. I will probably stay in Brookswood and be trained more.  I think Sister Dean will train in Maple Ridge and Sister Saal will come with me to Brookswood.  I also think it would be cool if we got put into another tri with a brand new missionary! I know what I'm doing, but I still need training I think because we are white washing Brookswood.

I loved your emails by the way.  they were great.  I loved your pictures Trevor! they wouldn't go big though! anywho, OH! So I have a lot of ideas for Brian Carter About missionary stuff! ya know cuz of his job? yeah well I'll have to talk to him when I get home. Also, you should tell him that if he ever needs me to sample anything, than I WOULD LOVE TOO! so just send me stuff! haha :) and tell Quentin Carter that I say Hi! and Tell Josie that we are BEST FRIENDS FOREVER! and that I sing Taylor Swift in the shower everyday! she is still one of my all time favorite heroes. What an inspiratioN! 

kay before I go, do you want to know what I was thinking about the other day.. remember when I walked in and after the age change announcement was made and I told you I was going to serve a mission? that was a great moment.  Dad was beaming with pride. Mom was crying. Oskar was freaking Out. Mollie was in Shock. And I was just a standing there in a Holy Place. I love that memory. what do you remember and think about it?
alright well I love you all very much! thanks for everything! I feel your love, support, and prayers every single day.  I have the best family in the world! That includes/is the slacks, stowers, and first ward! what day is john getting married? alright I gotta go! remember that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass! 1-10-15! I LOVE YOU! WORK iT!! 5 stars! CtR! catch the wave fools.
-Love SISTER JAYNANNE PETERSEN!!!!!!!! yeeeahhhhhhhhhhh buddddDDDddyyYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

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